Miscarriage is a devastating experience in which feelings of grief and possibly guilt may have to be dealt with ‘in silence’ and the time for grieving often is considered to be short. In most cases there is no funeral to be held or a name to recognize the very existence of this unborn child and a future that no longer is.
Infertility is a related life changing experience where people need to map out a future for themselves and their relationship without the possibility of the fulfilment of their deepest hopes and dreams…to give birth to and raise a child. For friends and family often a topic too painful to explore deeply, it may leave the couple to deal with their very real loss in private.
The termination of a pregnancy, whether or not on medical grounds, is always a huge decision in a woman’s life and not one that is ever taken lightly. It is not uncommon for feelings of grief, shame, guilt and loss to be more pronounced and long term for women who have lost a child through a termination.
A miscarriage or infertility ceremony, designed with the specific needs and circumstances of the individual in mind can give people the opportunity to express their loss in a personal and dignified way. As there is no set time for grieving, this ceremony can be held shortly after a loss, but also after decades have past.